Category Archives: 2015 Jun 22 Uffcott

Crop Circles: The Pillocks, The Muppetry, The Tosh [MC]

I’ve been meaning to put up a post covering last season’s events on the bafflingly-named Crop Circles: The People, The Mystery, The Truth page for a while, but other things have intervened. Why ‘bafflingly-named’? By “people”, they mean “the half-a-dozen people we don’t like”. I don’t know what “mystery” has to do with anything, since the page admins seem to have convinced themselves they know the minutiae of everything circles-related, so by that definition there cannot be any “mystery”. By truth, they mean “ill-informed personal opinions, bigotry, re-posts from RACCF and whatever Matt Williams has pulled out from between his butt-cheeks this week”. Let’s have a look at what they have to say.

ccpmt mw pics jun 19 15

I’m not sure why CCPMT are so happy that Matt Williams has announced that all photographs marked Copyright Crop Circle Connector these days are taken by him, since it has severed the last threadbare strand of credibility the Connector still had as a cereological research body. Matt knows this, and seems content to let his friends fall on their sword – why else would the images be captioned with Connector copyright if not to obscure the fact that Matt took them and therefore knew about the circles before anybody else did?

Oddly, Matt has stated in the past that his images are free for anybody to use, so how can there be “large scale photo theft” taking place? He didn’t specify “they’re free to use, unless your name is x, y, or z”. The “Alexander… Database website” referred to here is www.cropcirclesdatabase.com, and despite RACCF/CCPMT’s allegations, I have yet to see any evidence that this site is run by Steve Alexander. Neither have RACCF/CCPMT, but they prefer to let their prejudice against Alexander make up their minds for them. Williams also seems confused as to exactly what “image theft” entails – all photos on said Database site are credited, with a URL to the site of their origin. Reproducing them without permission constitutes a breach of copyright, but is hardly “image theft”.

Personally, I consider the Crop Circles Database site an excellent and valuable research resource, whatever its legality or otherwise. Their images are taken not just from the Connector but from a number of other websites, including Steve Alexander’s Temporary Temples. Of all these websites, the Crop Circle Connector is the only one that charges a fee to access their archive.

While we’re on the subject of the Crop Circle Connector, what do Messrs Gibsone, Fussell, and Dike do, exactly, other than administer the page? They don’t take the photographs, they don’t draw the diagrams, they don’t write any of the reports or commentaries. All of this is given to them gratis by others, then disappears into the vaults and can only be viewed if you pay. Why do RACCF/CCPMT have no problem with this, when they are so vehemently critical of anybody else charging money for any aspect of the crop circle subject? Extraordinary, and extraordinarily hypocritical.

ccpmt solstice circles jun 24 15

The majority of CCPMT’s posts are regurgitations from RACCF, despite their claim that the pages have no affiliation whatsoever (a claim that is utter hogwash, as anybody who studies both pages closely can easily deduce). This example is pitiful, and shows how slight is their grasp of the crop circle subject.Sure, circle 2 pictured here is a bit of a cock-up and looks incomplete. Circle 1 is fine if a little askew (many formations, including those acclaimed by RACCF on account of being made by their mates, are askew to one degree or another). Circle 3 is one of the finest of the 2015 season and a very long way from being “an absolute mess” (see my June 27 2015 post A Rose By Any Other Name for a more detailed look at this formation). Every week, month, year, the quality of crop circles varies. Your point is what, exactly? “Created by a bunch of amateurs”? Every circle maker, including your fabled “master”, is amateur. The only individuals who could be considered professional circlemakers are the .org guys, who you despise for reasons I’ve yet to fully fathom.

ccpmt steve a jul 21 2015

I’ve previously written an entire post addressing the allegation of Steve Alexander commissioning circles. Nothing has been “proved.. before”. No, “Stevie hasn’t been a naughty boy”. “Yet again hes [sic.] been caught out”? What were the other times, pray tell? Williams is not “100% correct”. He is “100% making it up”.

ccpmt avebury business jun 26 2015

Not content to accuse Steve Alexander of commissioning circles – which is Bollocks with a capital B – it appears that other “business’s [sic.] in the Avebury area” are also now colluding in illegal activity for profit! If this is the case, CCPMT, your duty should surely be to take all the evidence you have gathered to the police. You do have evidence, don’t you? Thought not. You also have no proof whatsoever, despite “good suspicion” (i.e. guesswork), “that the owner of Silent Circle and others in the area and his shady friends are making crop circles to prop up their business’s [sic.]”. It’s a lie. If you have any proof, show it. You can’t, because you made it up. I know the circle pictured above had no connection whatsoever with Silent Circle or any other “business’s” because I know who made it. Do you? No, you don’t. You’re just talking cobblers.

ccpmt gary king 11 aug 15

Of course, everything Matty says about this squalid event is “all very true” and Gary is “a liar” and we should not believe “a word [he is] saying”. Thing is, for the most part their accounts of the event concur. Does that mean they cancel each other out,or connect and explode like matter meeting antimatter? Do tell!

Isn’t it uncanny how everything that was crummy about last year’s otherwise fine and business-as-usual crop circle season is gleefully proclaimed on this page and on RACCF? I do wonder why these people even remain on the croppie scene. They clearly feel no joy at a subject that has enriched and transformed the lives of a great many people.Their smug and bitter jottings exist only to mock. All who do not share their beliefs are considered fair game. Their only pleasure is in the superiority they feel over others. I sincerely wish they would just fuck off into the ether, and leave the rest of us to peacefully enjoy the circles in whichever way we choose to participate, be it researcher, observer, croppie, maker. Because despite everything there is still a great deal of wonder to be found, provided one puts in the effort, knows where to look, and trains one’s senses to shut out the fucktards shouting one down.

Miles Challett

Now That’s What I Call Crop Circles 2015 [HJ]

Our “out in the fields” correspondent Hugh Janus presents the CCN annual round-up of what we consider the best of the season’s circles in the UK. Photos by Steve Alexander except where indicated.

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Uffcott, Wiltshire, 21 June 2015.

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Redlynch, Somerset, June 2015.

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Clearbury Ring, Odstock, Wiltshire, 7 July 2015. Our favourite of what our friends at The Croppie dubbed the ‘big spiky thing’ series.

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Rollright, Oxfordshire, 15 July 2015. We also particuarly liked the small ringed circle that appeared in the same field on the same night.

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Maiden Castle, Dorset, 28 July 2015.

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Stratford on Avon, Warwickshire, 8 August 2015

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Fox Hill, Liddington, Wiltshire, 9 August 2015. Amply demonstrating that a crop circle doesn’t need to have complex geometry to be beautiful.

Hugh Janus

Chasing The Crop Circles

A short new documentary featuring some of the early 2015 season circles. We love documentaries like this, croppies exploring and enjoying the circles on their own terms, some theories thrown in but no ugliness.

Flippin’ The Bird [MC]

As I’ve said before, you can tell a lot about any particular circle by the way Report A Crop Circle Formation respond to it, in particular their “friends and family discount” policy. If they say nice things, you know that it was made by their mates. This is actually a good thing for those researchers who choose to believe and pursue that elusive “genuine phenomenon”, however they define it, as it immediately indicates which circles they can cross off their list. The circles RACCF had no inkling of – and inevitably rip apart as a result – are the ones more worthy of attention. With these thoughts in mind, three circles in particular caught my eye recently.

bunnyFirst off, the ridiculous rabbit at Alton Barnes on 14 July 2015 (aerial photo by Mr Gyro). Even a cursory glance at the aerial shots marks this circle as a joke, and not even a funny one at that. The key, however, is less the dumb design and more its location and timing. It’s not a crop circle. It’s a political weapon.

A few days before it appeared, on July 11, Monique Klinkenbergh opened her crop circle exhibition in Marlborough. RACCF did not take well to that, to say the least. Their smear campaign against Monique and her endeavours is long-running, and I won’t rehearse its history again here. Their response came in Andrew Pyrka’s tell-tale pidgin English.

raccf monique exhibition 1Mr Pyrka’s indignation at alleged ‘BLASPHEMY !’ [sic] is also rather ironic. Holding a crop circle exhibition in a building dedicated to the intervention in human lives of invisible sky beings, the existence of whom is reliant entirely upon belief and with scant evidence to support it, seems most apt to me. Note also the casually tossed-in lie that Tim Carson “was originally against the pass scheme yet is happily posing with Monique”; readers of my earlier post Farmers, Lie & Videotape will know that this is nonsense.

Three days after this photograph was taken, the inane rabbit formation appeared in one of Mr Carson’s fields, a short walk from The Barge Inn. Please remember that a great deal of effort behind the scenes has been undertaken by Monique Klingenbergh and others to win back the support of Wiltshire farmers following the damage done by certain individuals in past years. Again I would refer you to my article Farmers, Lies & Videotape for background. It seems very clear that the rabbit was intended to antagonise Mr Carson. It worked. Within a day the circle was cut out, though not before Matthew Williams and the Mr Gyro team had got their aerial shots.

williams rabbitUnsurprisingly, while the rest of us were thinking “What the hell is that piece of crap?” Williams had nothing but good things to say about this circle. Speculation ran rife that Williams and / or his Report A Crop Circle Formation associates had even made it. My only comment in that respect is that I do indeed know the identity of its creator, who should be thoroughly ashamed of himself for his part in such a crude prank, its only purpose being to piss off an already very unhappy farmer and to further the ongoing playground bullying agenda against said farmer and against Monique Klinkenbergh. Of course the circle was cut, though its purpose had already been served. Williams even had the temerity to insinuate that its cutting was due to ‘Dutch tourists’ – again a blatant snipe at Ms Klinkenbergh.

rabbit dutch tourists

Enough of the rabbit. Even looking at the photos of it depresses me. Let’s move on.

First, for context, here’s a selection of some of this season’s perfectly respectable circles which RACCF have savaged because they weren’t made by their friends or reported to them or were suspected of being the work of people they don’t like. Criticisms included wonky line-work, misaligned components, malformed sections and uneven edges.

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Uffcott, Wilts, 21 June 2015. A “complete fuck-up” according to Williams. Photo by Steve Alexander.

2015.05.25_08.13.20_-_MrGyro.co.ukManton Drove, Wiltshire, 24 May 2015. Criticised for wonky lines – though they look fine to me – and wonky and incorrectly placed circles. Photo by Mr Gyro.

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South Newton, Wiltshire, 15 June 2016. Criticised for wonky lines and uneven components. Photo by Steve Alexander.

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Stonehenge, Wiltshire, 25 June 2016. Criticised for wonky lines and uneven components. Photo by Steve Alexander.

wtfOn 21 July, this next circle appeared near Rochford, Essex (photo by The Crop Circle Connector * ). The phrase “Christ in a centrifuge, what is that piece of shit?!” doesn’t even begin to do it justice. It’s an absolute train-wreck of a crop circle. I can find no redeeming features in it whatsoever. Every component is a mess, and none of them go together. Why does it have handles? What did they do the line-work in the lower right section with, their teeth? How inept does one have to be at making crop circles to screw it up this badly? This is, without doubt, the worst circle of the season and one of the worst circles in years. Did RACCF give it the kicking it so richly deserves? Let’s have a look.

essex raccf comments 2

So the circles depicted above get an kick in the nuts, and you let this crime against nature pass by with a “there, there” pat on the back? Way to go, guys! I was on the fence for a while, but now I definitely trust your judgment in all things circular.

overFour days later, and back in Wiltshire (hang on, I thought there was supposed to be a boycott of Wiltshire by circle makers?), this next circle pitched up at Uffcott (photo by Mr Gyro). At first glance it looks pleasing, but a closer look reveals how sloppy it is in its manufacture. RACCF even acknowledged this, in their weasel words “Lots of human errors but good to see something very ambitious and very different” (though I’d dispute the latter – in many ways it’s merely a rehash of bird/Aztec design motifs from seasons past). So why were they gushing all over it like teenage girls over Bieber? It includes all the construction errors they have attacked in other circles this season, including those I illustrated above. But that’s okay now, because, as Matthew Williams says in another post, “Yes clearly some symmetry issues – but like peoples [sic.] faces sometimes things aren’t [sic.] lined up. Our eyes for example – usually most peoples [sic.] eyes are not symmetrical on their faces.”

Mr Williams, do you need new glasses? Mr Williams, are we even looking at the same circle? Allow me to write the report of this circle you no doubt would have filed, if your page was not a transparent back-slapping sham but rather the “crop circle reporting and discussion portal” you claim it to be.

First, let’s take a closer look. Here’s a direct overhead shot by Steve Alexander.

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Tracing an imaginary line through the central axis of this formation from the bottom, first off one can see that the top half is askew. Wonky donkey work, as Mr Williams would put it. Both the square and top circle are out of alignment. At least, I think it’s supposed to be a square, despite one side being clearly longer than the others. At least they didn’t fuck up the maze motif inside it. No, hang on, they did. That’s askew, too, and the sizes of the quadrants don’t match. Actually, nothing on the left side of this formation compared to the right matches. Each component differs in shape or size to its sibling. Let’s have a look at the centre. What the hell is going on with those standing rectangles? They’re all over the bloody place, and each side doesn’t match the other. Remember that imaginary line we traced through the centre of the formation? Following it up to the middle, one can see that the wings are askew, too, with the left tilted down and the right upwards. The wings are also completely different sizes, with the left being shorter and narrower. Look next at the line-work inside those wings, and remember line-work is one thing that RACCF have been particularly critical of in other circles this season. It’s an absolute bloody shambles. Compare it again to the kinda-at-random photos I posted above, of circles that Mr Williams has ripped apart. It’s plain as day that Mr Williams is only bigging up this circle because it was made by his mates and fits into whatever agenda he was plugging that week, as opposed to all those other circles he squats over and takes a dump on because he either doesn’t know who made them or imagines them the work of people he’s fallen out with. At least, I hope that’s what’s going on here. The thought that he might actually believe all this stuff he comes out with is just scary.

Miles Challett

* No doubt Matt will rant about “image theft” for my using this photo here; unfortunately, and no doubt due to how utterly shite the circle is, nobody else bothered to photograph it so I have no other images to use. Besides, it’s hardly “image theft” if I’ve provided a credit, is it?

Rose Wyrdness

2015.06.22_19.26.36_-_Steve_AlexanderCharles Mallett interviews Spanish tourists regarding experiences in the 22 June 2015 Uffcott circle, including seeing tornados (within the circle; we wonder if it was more a “dust devil” than an actual tornado) and a strange “energy barrier” / wall. It should be noted perhaps that these events took place at the end of July 2015, after the circle had been cut, which doesn’t make them any less interesting.

Photo of Uffcott circle by Steve Alexander.

A Rose By Any Other Name [MC]

2015.06.22_19.26.36_-_Steve_AlexanderIf ever confirmation were needed that Matthew Williams is clueless when it comes to analysing crop circles, his comments on the Uffcott solstice circle should seal the deal.

According to a recent YouTube video of his, this circle was “a complete fuck-up” because the standing sections are of differing shapes and sizes. Even a cursory glance at the photos should indicate that this is intentional, a fact borne out by the analysis and untangling of its geometry undertaken since its arrival.

Which leaves us with a frightening question; is Williams being deliberately antagonistic here, or is he really that dumb?

With regard to a different circle (Yatesbury. 24 June 2015) Williams commented “If people can’t make the effort to get it looking right they are just courting scorn.” With that in mind, I well-remember following each season through the mid to late 1990s – as now, each of those seasons had an abundance of very poor quality circles in the fields of Wiltshire. The difference back then being, of course, that Williams made most of them. Here’s a selection.

1999april30woodboroughhill1999july21bishopscannings1999june12allcannings2000july30blackland  Miles Challett